April is fast approaching and I could really feel the heat and excitement of this season. I am already on 37-38th week of my pregnancy which means I am soon to meet my little boy.
Last time I had a check up with my OB-Gyn and again she did an ultrasound scan to monitor my baby. I just noticed that he is quite big and very active inside. Hopefully and God-willing I will be able to deliver him normally (OMG I don’t want a cut on my belly just to have him if possible!).
Some people asked me, how come I am already going to have a baby very soon when I was single for quite some time and how I met my husband. Well for this, I wouldn’t hide and get shy about the truth on how we met each other. Everything happened last year, when I was processing my papers to Germany.
As you might have read on my previous posts, I was a little bit sad about what was going on my love life. I mean, I wanted to be in a relationship but I couldn’t seem to meet the person who fits me (or maybe I was just a little bit choosy). I tried different online platforms but I was truly disappointed by those men who tried to pursue me. Some of them were not really into committed relationship, some of them wanted only a chatmate… In short, I wasted my time and energy with those guys, introducing and reintroducing myself over and over. I got tired of that idea because I was also studying German language that time and I was caught in- between „career or lovelife?“ I then wrote myself that love can wait and that I need to focus on my goals if I want to be successful.
I felt so alone and empty so I prayed to God consistently to take away that pain. I prayed that I only want one man for me with who I can build my own family, and I made a promise that I will love only him…no one else but him… I had pitied myself many times and thought about that maybe I wasn’t deserving enough so no one likes me for the rest of our lives.
Few months after, I decided to create a new account on a different online dating platform which was OK Cupid. Before entering my infos there, I researched the decency of the application and its success rate and so far it was one of those with good reviews and the good thing is, I got to access its key features for free. I answered some personality questions there and yeah was able to use it.
On my first day on OK Cupid, there were sooooo many guys sending messages to me… guys that were not my type so I kept swiping left…. left… another left…. oh.. oh no… left… 😑😑😑 Until I saw some profiles with decent description so I tried to message them ( I think there were 3 of them who I sent messages) and the third one among them was my husband…Prior to sending him a message, I was about to swipe his profile to the left but it just swiped to the next photo. He was the first one who ever replied to me. My attention got caught because I saw that he knows how to speak different languages, even Filipino and German so I got really interested…well that time, I was, yeah, studying for my exam and I took that as an opportunity to practice my skills… hahahaha😆😆😊😊
I was impressed because he was so kind yet not boring to talk to and also he is quite good-looking so I had a thought that he might be a nice chatmate too. We had good conversation and I was also able to speak to him naturally so there was no problem to me about him except one thing… I would soon go abroad and that I was afraid to have a relationship with him.
I then opened it up to him that I would soon go to Germany and a good relationship won’t be established between us… He laughed at me and said that if I help him go out of the country, he might be able to help me stay in Europe as long as I want because he is an Italian. I asked him how… and said, that would only be possible if we got married. Of course I was shocked about what he said because we were just getting to know and I barely know him. I asked about his sincerity and he told me that if I were already in Germany and we are both still single and clicked together,then we will marry one another. Sounds simple huh but I was not convinced by that… I tried to think about it over and over and avoided bringing it up so he won’t remember. I tried spending the days just chatting with him while I study my lessons and enjoyed our conversation. Until he asked for my facebook account so we can talk over there. We usually chat at around 11 in the evening when he’s already at home. Those were the times I was always busy writing essays for my exam. I really enjoyed talking to him and my heart just can’t deny the excitement that I feel whenever I receive a message from him but of course I just want to keep it cool. Then he brought up the topic again about us marrying together. I feel overwhelmed because there’s a man who wants to marry me. I felt happy about it but I also felt it was kinda fast. A month after a good conversation, we decided to meet.
He was truly a simple man who works hard to make a living. He was really different from those guys who I dated before. I rode on his motorcycle and joined him in lunch and we had a casual talk. He let me come with him to their office and introduced me to some of his workmates then he also allowed me to ride the company service which he drives.
He taught me the basics in driving in the parking area. Overall, our first meeting was not the usual dating but I felt the sincerity in his intention. Along with it, I also felt that his life is not easy yet he is making the best he could. A part of my heart was pained when I saw him at work but I don’t know…. I was willing to accept him..and I did. When he asked me if he can call and introduce me as his girlfriend, I said yes.
The second thing that happen was he went to our home. A week after our first meet-up, I invited him to come over our house so we can spend more time together. We went to the grocery and bought something to cook. I cooked his favorite carbonarra and I played a soft jazz music in a warm yellow light while we were having dinner. I was happy when he liked the way I prepared things for him. He said that it was also like a dinner outside. We did really enjoy our time together but that was already late at night. I felt worried that he will have to travel that long so I decided to offer him to stay in our home. We did not sleep together. He stayed in the living room and I in my own bedroom. Before we slept away from each other, we took some selfies and had a good night kiss. That was our first kiss.
I felt the love that I am longing for in him and I knew deep inside me that he is the one I really want. I trust and count on him about everything. It also made me feel happier because I can tell him my thoughts, I can share my innermost self without any reservation and I am really comfortable in his presence… Like I don’t need to put a mask nor my best foot forward to be appreciated because I already am by him.
As days go by, our desire of being together became stronger that we told my family we would get married before I go to Germany so that there will be no more parting ways for us. My father did not agree and my siblings were in doubt about our plans so we did not proceed with it at first. It was painful knowing that we could not make our plan even though we love each other. Their reason was that, it was too early and my career should come first because it was already set before I met him. They suggested us to wait until I come home when I depart.
I knew they were right but sometimes, the heart is more important than career. I believe that a genuine love will close all the gaps and will be enough to cross the most difficult challenge… One night, he went to our home to pick me and I told my sister I would go with him in his home. I brought my small backpack and decided to be with him. We travelled for more than an hour through his motorcycle. It was a long journey… and I hugged him from the back while I safely trust myself in him. When we arrived home, he introduced me to the daughter of his niece and her friend and told them I would stay there for a day. It was nice getting to know them (He doesn’t have immediate family anymore and all that he has are only cousins and its offsprings, in maternal side. His parents were already gone and his half-sister lives very far from him and they no longer have a contact).
Before we slept together, he asked me if I want us to pursue our relationship and it might mean my career. Without further ado, I said I want to be with him and it’s okay if I don’t go to Germany. He did not want me to do that because my dad would be disappointed but my decision was final and I chose him over anything. He apologized to me, that he was just a poor man and do not have anyththing to offer me… My tears almost fell, knowing that he has a good heart. That night, we kissed and made love.
There were only few days left before my departure date so I decided to pack my things already and arranged all papers I would be needing in Germany especially the medical test and the pre-departure seminar. I already fulfilled every requirement that the agency asked of me and of course, I also bid goodbye to him eventhough it was really hard for me. I apologised that we met on the time I was about to leave and I did not intend to hurt him that way. I cried so much because I want us to stay together as much as possible. I could still remember, that was only 9 days left before my flight schedule.
The next day, I went to the agency to follow-up on my visa because I did not receive any advice from the embassy yet and they told me that there was a problem on the issuance of my work permit so they have to reprocess it. 2 days later, the official results of my medical exam was released and to my surprise, the pregnancy test got positive and I was not cleared by the Medical director to be fit to work. I was advised to have an OB-Gyn clearance and I was no longer cleared too because the repeat pregnancy test also showed a positive result. I cried and laughed at the same time because I can be with him but of course I was also thinking about my job and my family.
My dad did not believe when I said that my papers too have problem that’s why I could not travel yet. He strongly believed that it was not the reason but my pregnancy and I shattered all my dreams. He did not talk to me for 2 months because of that. Eventhough he sees me at home, he still ignored me.
I was lucky because I got a job offer to teach German language in the same institution where my agency belongs and it really helped our beginning family.
Few months after, he found a better job in a hotel where he serves there as a butler and again he proposed to me and asked when I want us to get married.
I said, „On the last day of January“ and then we started to gather the documents needed for filing.
We got married on the 31st of January 2019 and we had a small celebration having only our family and some of our friends. I was already on the 6th month of my pregnancy when we got married and finally my dad is okay with us already. I still couldn’t believe that I finally found the one for me. It was like a dream come true. Yes there were some challenges that came to us before, especially the adjustment with each other’s behaviour and other issues that almost led to a breakup. Fortunately we are able to manage it and yes it made us know and understand each other better and helped improve ourselves and our relationship.
It was 2 months past our wedding but I still love looking at our pictures. I realized that the only thing that should matter is how we love each other and never ask for anything in return… that I should give him my best everyday of our lives because time is really fast and there should never have a room for resentments. If there’s anything serious that bothers me, then I openly tell it to him and yes, I am glad that he listens to me and is always willing to make me happy.
Truly when God gives something, it is surely the best and worth keeping.