Challenges of a Mom: One Woman, Different Roles

„Are you breastfeeding“

„Yes, I do. I mix it.“

This is the most questioned thing to me as a mother. But this question doesn’t just end with these words. Sometimes there are incorporated thoughts and judgment when it is spoken out. In the past years many women have preferred to breastfeed their babies as it is the most recommended diet for the little ones. I agree with it because all the benefits a child can get is in the breastmilk and there is supposed to be no excuse not to do it. It is healthy for the mother and child, free, readily available. However, there are some situations where you are not and will not be able to exclusively breastfeed the baby.

I am a health practitioner and I am truly aware about the benefits of breastfeeding. But when I became a mother, I felt how difficult it is not just to breastfeed, but also to do other stuff. I felt the stress along with the happiness brought about by having a baby. Even before my son was born, I was fully convinced that I would be breastfeeding him and my niece even gave a breast pump as a gift to me. I also thought of having milk stash and storing it for my baby. But the opposite happened. My milk supply is low. I was able to say so because he doesn’t seem to be satisfied and always cry and along with that, I have flat nipples which make his latching sooooo painful… as in toe-curling pain and enduring it everytime he latches makes me want to give up breastfeeding. I tried pumping for 1 hour but all I get was just 1-2 ounces of milk. It became easy for me to turn to giving him formula milk and I am happy because he is satisfied and he gains weight. The good thing about my son is that he doesn’t have a nipple confusion; he takes whatever is fed to him and is fine with it. A pediatrician told me that I must be breastfeeding and they truly discourage giving formula milk. I tried to explain my side why I give formula milk but she still tried to convince me to breastfeed. Upon going home, my husband told me to try it one more time, this time with greater frequency in breastfeeding. I got too stressed. My nipples were sore and cracked yet my little one seemed to be always hungry so I decided to feed him even if I was hurting. There were also times that I could feel my breasts so tender and some solid milk coming out and only then gets relieved when I let my baby feed for a longer period.

Then I had an idea to use a nipple shield in order to prevent sore and cracked nipple. As I tried it, my child is able to feed but it seems to hurt me even more because the nipple shield already has a tip, wherein I must squeeze my nipple and put, but it doesn’t occupy the space much that’s why my baby sucks only on the nipple and not the whole areola. After 3 days of trying, I decided to just feed him directly and pump right after. It helped me a lot until my nipples healed.

After some weeks, I noticed that my baby improved his sucking skills. I don’t know how he did it but it doesn’t hurt anymore no matter how long he feeds so I just offered him my breasts whenever he wants. He was already 3 months old that time. It truly helped me save time and money while we increase our bonding time together. This time I enjoyed breastfeeding already. I felt happy that I finally was able to nourish him the right way and fulfill my part as his mom. As days go by I noticed that my milk supply also increased that I can survive a day without giving him formula milk. He sleeps sound and satisfied everytime he nurses and the feeding time became short. I used to feed him 30 minutes to 1 hour per session before but now it is only 10-20 minutes and he is so satisfied he could sleep on my arms as I cradle him.

Now he is turning 5 months old and still I feed him my breasts. When we are outside, that’s the only time I give him formula milk (on a limited amount) because I am not used to breastfeeding in the public. I tried doing it before but only in a place where there were very few people because my baby was really hungry. At home, I breastfeed him throughout the day, unless when I am cleaning the home and haven’t taken a shower yet. I no longer use breast pump by now because they say that indirect latching can cause low milk supply as the baby’s saliva helps trigger the production of prolactin that helps the mother’s body to produce more milk.

I believe that it is really possible to increase your milk even if you felt that it doesn’t meet your child’s needs and don’t feel guilty if at first you can’t make it… You can.

Werbeanzeigen

Entering Motherhood

Schlagwörter

baby, life, motherhood, parents

It’s a wonderful day today here in our place… Not so sunny and not so cloudy. The temperature is also good that I can enjoy the afternoon. I am currently preparing for something very important that I have to do for this week (I will just tell you later) and yes currently watching over my little one.

with baby Hanzel😊

right after he was born

A few weeks ago, I delivered my son via caesarean section and it cost us quite a lot but I am really grateful for that because my son and I were safe. Back then I had a very little to no amniotic fluid already so my OB called the emergency and operating room and had to be transferred there. I was supposed to give birth to my OB’s own clinic but due to that case, I got transferred to a nearby hospital. My blood pressure also rose above the normal limit so the personnel had to rush or I will be in danger. Thanks be to God everything went fine and a cute healthy baby boy came to us. It was really a great blessing to have a child. He really looks like my husband 😊😁

father and son 😊

During his first few days, I really felt guilty because I could not breastfeed him. There was nothing coming out from my breast so I had to give him a formula milk but I still tried breastfeeding every time he needs nourishment. After 4 days of trying, few drops came in and I pumped it out til the colostrum was expressed. I felt fulfilled that I was able to give him the right nutrition he needs as he really likes feeding often.

Few weeks later, I tried combining both formula and breastmilk alternately to avoid nipple sore and I noticed that my son is doing well and growing fast. He looks long for a month-old baby!

A lot of people also helped us by sending baby clothes and items for him that I did not have to spend for those anymore and as he grows, I enjoy being with him.

He is jolly and really expressive. He smiles whenever he is full and he sleeps soundly afterwards.

Sometimes I also have to stay late at night when his tummy aches and that I find it really challenging. During the day, he likes sleeping so I try to do my daytime activities at home or sometimes sleep too if I have low energy to do my tasks.

Happy First Month cake😊😂

baby Hanzel and my sister

before we sleep

For me motherhood is not a piece of cake but it is rewarding when I see my child happy and healthy. It makes me feel fulfilled and confident that I am doing it well for my baby.

tummy time! 😀

What are your mom-and-baby stories? Share it in the comments!

Hershee ❤

How I Met My Husband: Our Love Story

Schlagwörter

dating, family, how, husband, life, love, meet, online, pregnancy, wedding

Hi Lovelies!

April is fast approaching and I could really feel the heat and excitement of this season. I am already on 37-38th week of my pregnancy which means I am soon to meet my little boy.

Last time I had a check up with my OB-Gyn and again she did an ultrasound scan to monitor my baby. I just noticed that he is quite big and very active inside. Hopefully and God-willing I will be able to deliver him normally (OMG I don’t want a cut on my belly just to have him if possible!).

Some people asked me, how come I am already going to have a baby very soon when I was single for quite some time and how I met my husband. Well for this, I wouldn’t hide and get shy about the truth on how we met each other. Everything happened last year, when I was processing my papers to Germany.

As you might have read on my previous posts, I was a little bit sad about what was going on my love life. I mean, I wanted to be in a relationship but I couldn’t seem to meet the person who fits me (or maybe I was just a little bit choosy). I tried different online platforms but I was truly disappointed by those men who tried to pursue me. Some of them were not really into committed relationship, some of them wanted only a chatmate… In short, I wasted my time and energy with those guys, introducing and reintroducing myself over and over. I got tired of that idea because I was also studying German language that time and I was caught in- between „career or lovelife?“ I then wrote myself that love can wait and that I need to focus on my goals if I want to be successful.

German Nursing Lecture

I felt so alone and empty so I prayed to God consistently to take away that pain. I prayed that I only want one man for me with who I can build my own family, and I made a promise that I will love only him…no one else but him… I had pitied myself many times and thought about that maybe I wasn’t deserving enough so no one likes me for the rest of our lives.

Few months after, I decided to create a new account on a different online dating platform which was OK Cupid. Before entering my infos there, I researched the decency of the application and its success rate and so far it was one of those with good reviews and the good thing is, I got to access its key features for free. I answered some personality questions there and yeah was able to use it.

On my first day on OK Cupid, there were sooooo many guys sending messages to me… guys that were not my type so I kept swiping left…. left… another left…. oh.. oh no… left… 😑😑😑 Until I saw some profiles with decent description so I tried to message them ( I think there were 3 of them who I sent messages) and the third one among them was my husband…Prior to sending him a message, I was about to swipe his profile to the left but it just swiped to the next photo. He was the first one who ever replied to me. My attention got caught because I saw that he knows how to speak different languages, even Filipino and German so I got really interested…well that time, I was, yeah, studying for my exam and I took that as an opportunity to practice my skills… hahahaha😆😆😊😊

I was impressed because he was so kind yet not boring to talk to and also he is quite good-looking so I had a thought that he might be a nice chatmate too. We had good conversation and I was also able to speak to him naturally so there was no problem to me about him except one thing… I would soon go abroad and that I was afraid to have a relationship with him.

I then opened it up to him that I would soon go to Germany and a good relationship won’t be established between us… He laughed at me and said that if I help him go out of the country, he might be able to help me stay in Europe as long as I want because he is an Italian. I asked him how… and said, that would only be possible if we got married. Of course I was shocked about what he said because we were just getting to know and I barely know him. I asked about his sincerity and he told me that if I were already in Germany and we are both still single and clicked together,then we will marry one another. Sounds simple huh but I was not convinced by that… I tried to think about it over and over and avoided bringing it up so he won’t remember. I tried spending the days just chatting with him while I study my lessons and enjoyed our conversation. Until he asked for my facebook account so we can talk over there. We usually chat at around 11 in the evening when he’s already at home. Those were the times I was always busy writing essays for my exam. I really enjoyed talking to him and my heart just can’t deny the excitement that I feel whenever I receive a message from him but of course I just want to keep it cool. Then he brought up the topic again about us marrying together. I feel overwhelmed because there’s a man who wants to marry me. I felt happy about it but I also felt it was kinda fast. A month after a good conversation, we decided to meet.

He was truly a simple man who works hard to make a living. He was really different from those guys who I dated before. I rode on his motorcycle and joined him in lunch and we had a casual talk. He let me come with him to their office and introduced me to some of his workmates then he also allowed me to ride the company service which he drives.

inside Boardwalk’s service

He taught me the basics in driving in the parking area. Overall, our first meeting was not the usual dating but I felt the sincerity in his intention. Along with it, I also felt that his life is not easy yet he is making the best he could. A part of my heart was pained when I saw him at work but I don’t know…. I was willing to accept him..and I did. When he asked me if he can call and introduce me as his girlfriend, I said yes.

at our home

The second thing that happen was he went to our home. A week after our first meet-up, I invited him to come over our house so we can spend more time together. We went to the grocery and bought something to cook. I cooked his favorite carbonarra and I played a soft jazz music in a warm yellow light while we were having dinner. I was happy when he liked the way I prepared things for him. He said that it was also like a dinner outside. We did really enjoy our time together but that was already late at night. I felt worried that he will have to travel that long so I decided to offer him to stay in our home. We did not sleep together. He stayed in the living room and I in my own bedroom. Before we slept away from each other, we took some selfies and had a good night kiss. That was our first kiss.

I felt the love that I am longing for in him and I knew deep inside me that he is the one I really want. I trust and count on him about everything. It also made me feel happier because I can tell him my thoughts, I can share my innermost self without any reservation and I am really comfortable in his presence… Like I don’t need to put a mask nor my best foot forward to be appreciated because I already am by him.

at their home

As days go by, our desire of being together became stronger that we told my family we would get married before I go to Germany so that there will be no more parting ways for us. My father did not agree and my siblings were in doubt about our plans so we did not proceed with it at first. It was painful knowing that we could not make our plan even though we love each other. Their reason was that, it was too early and my career should come first because it was already set before I met him. They suggested us to wait until I come home when I depart.

I knew they were right but sometimes, the heart is more important than career. I believe that a genuine love will close all the gaps and will be enough to cross the most difficult challenge… One night, he went to our home to pick me and I told my sister I would go with him in his home. I brought my small backpack and decided to be with him. We travelled for more than an hour through his motorcycle. It was a long journey… and I hugged him from the back while I safely trust myself in him. When we arrived home, he introduced me to the daughter of his niece and her friend and told them I would stay there for a day. It was nice getting to know them (He doesn’t have immediate family anymore and all that he has are only cousins and its offsprings, in maternal side. His parents were already gone and his half-sister lives very far from him and they no longer have a contact).

Before we slept together, he asked me if I want us to pursue our relationship and it might mean my career. Without further ado, I said I want to be with him and it’s okay if I don’t go to Germany. He did not want me to do that because my dad would be disappointed but my decision was final and I chose him over anything. He apologized to me, that he was just a poor man and do not have anyththing to offer me… My tears almost fell, knowing that he has a good heart. That night, we kissed and made love.

There were only few days left before my departure date so I decided to pack my things already and arranged all papers I would be needing in Germany especially the medical test and the pre-departure seminar. I already fulfilled every requirement that the agency asked of me and of course, I also bid goodbye to him eventhough it was really hard for me. I apologised that we met on the time I was about to leave and I did not intend to hurt him that way. I cried so much because I want us to stay together as much as possible. I could still remember, that was only 9 days left before my flight schedule.

repeat PT with positive result

ultrasound confirmation…hi little baby!

The next day, I went to the agency to follow-up on my visa because I did not receive any advice from the embassy yet and they told me that there was a problem on the issuance of my work permit so they have to reprocess it. 2 days later, the official results of my medical exam was released and to my surprise, the pregnancy test got positive and I was not cleared by the Medical director to be fit to work. I was advised to have an OB-Gyn clearance and I was no longer cleared too because the repeat pregnancy test also showed a positive result. I cried and laughed at the same time because I can be with him but of course I was also thinking about my job and my family.

My dad did not believe when I said that my papers too have problem that’s why I could not travel yet. He strongly believed that it was not the reason but my pregnancy and I shattered all my dreams. He did not talk to me for 2 months because of that. Eventhough he sees me at home, he still ignored me.

with A1 German Students at MIHCA

with A1 German Students at MIHCA

I was lucky because I got a job offer to teach German language in the same institution where my agency belongs and it really helped our beginning family.

with Mr. Boy Abunda

with Senator Peter Cayetano

Few months after, he found a better job in a hotel where he serves there as a butler and again he proposed to me and asked when I want us to get married.

before 2018 ends

I said, „On the last day of January“ and then we started to gather the documents needed for filing.

at the reception

with friends

with the family

after the event at Manila City Hall

the witnesses

We got married on the 31st of January 2019 and we had a small celebration having only our family and some of our friends. I was already on the 6th month of my pregnancy when we got married and finally my dad is okay with us already. I still couldn’t believe that I finally found the one for me. It was like a dream come true. Yes there were some challenges that came to us before, especially the adjustment with each other’s behaviour and other issues that almost led to a breakup. Fortunately we are able to manage it and yes it made us know and understand each other better and helped improve ourselves and our relationship.

It was 2 months past our wedding but I still love looking at our pictures. I realized that the only thing that should matter is how we love each other and never ask for anything in return… that I should give him my best everyday of our lives because time is really fast and there should never have a room for resentments. If there’s anything serious that bothers me, then I openly tell it to him and yes, I am glad that he listens to me and is always willing to make me happy.

Truly when God gives something, it is surely the best and worth keeping.

Why I Gave Up The Search (Part 2): The Newly-Married Life

Schlagwörter

civil, filipino, interracial, italian, philippines, simple, wedding

Time flies so fast. I can still remember the time when my fiance asked when I want us to get married, to the time we filed our documents and finally up to the day of the actual ceremony. It was not so long ago and everything is still really fresh and new. Before the day of our wedding, I had a strange feeling like my tummy is rumbling and there were also times when I felt scared of the responsibilities of being a home-maker. I realized that it would not be a piece of cake because sooner in God’s gracious time, our dear baby boy will come to meet us.

The celebration of our wedding was just simple and we did the reception in the same institution where I teach German and so I got some discount on their services. The preparation never stressed either of us because the banquet team assisted us in all our needs. It was like a semi-formal type of event.

I felt so glad because our families were there to witness our exchange of vows and also some of our beloved friends. The entire celebration lasted for almost 6 hours and we took a rest at home for a while before my husband and I went out again to celebrate… yes, just the 2 of us and we watched a great movie and had a dinner.

We did not have a honeymoon celebration as he has a work to attend the following day, so we spent the next days as husband and wife like the regular days but this time much sweeter than usual.

Having a ring on my finger always reminds me that I have someone to love until the rest of my life… that someone is already a part of me, to cherish through thick and thin… through happiness and sorrow… for better or for worse.

I have to admit that there are so many things that I still need to learn and master as a wife and soon a mother. I am not so young anymore but it doesn’t mean that I already know very much, if not everything. I still try to learn my husband everday and try to grow mature with him. There are so many adjustments that we have to do to make things suitable for us, so that we may avoid having unnecessary problems. I am happy in his presence and I feel so loved everyday. I am grateful to be with this man… The search is over and it is worth more than everything.

Lots of Love,

Mrs. Hershee Izell Bianchi

New Life Phase

Schlagwörter

baby, family, husbnd, italian, motherhood, pregnancy, wedding, wife

Hi Everyone!

It is so nice to be back here. Honestly I still go online pretty much but do not have enough time to write a blog. I am happy that while I am here sitting in front of my students, and while they are doing their seatwork, I am able to write things for you my dear readers! ^___^v

I currently teach German Language in different institutions here in Philippines while I wait for the right time to fly to Germany. I couldn’t go there at this moment because I have entered a new phase of my life… Being a wife and a mother. I recently got married to the man I love and who loves me so much and we are so blessed to have our baby really soon this year… A lovely Italian baby boy.

from google

I was hoping for these things to come many years ago. I even cried for it because I felt frustrated meeting other people who do not reciprocate. I prayed hard for it… To meet the man who is meant for me and finally we are having our sweet and lovely family together.

It is more than just a blessing in disguise because everything came at the right time. I thought that it was something I should regret because my flight will be delayed maybe until next year, but right now while conceiving, I feel so much inlove with my baby boy and of course with my husband… I can’t wait to my little one! ❤ ❤ ❤

As this year begins, I am praying for the safe delivery of my child and hopefully we will be able to handle the „parent“ things in our life.

 

 

When Everything Has Fallen Into Place

Schlagwörter

exam, germany, love, philippines, relationship

„One day the things you’ve been asking for will happen, and suddenly you’ll realize how much you deserve it.“ -H. Izell

credits to the owner

It was a few years ago when I started my ventures in career and plans for the future. I had no clear plan before on how to achieve it since I didn’t know what challenges would come along the way, but in my heart and mind I knew that I should not stop the little things that help shape my character and skills. I prepared well but unfortunately, not everyone will be successful at the first or second try. I experienced how it was to fail and how to stand again. It was not easy but one thing that made me hold on to it was the vision of a better and balance life, if I would be able to reach my goal. I am so grateful that 2 years of waiting and making effort has finally come to its destination… Passing the complete module of the German Language Exam is just the beginning of wonderful things to happen and I always pray for guidance and strength in things that I do and about to do.

me and my beloved at my relative’s home (c)ladiesthingsbyhersheeizell.com

my dear and I in their home (c)ladiesthingsbyhersheeizell.com

I am also grateful to meet the love of my life, my soon-to-be husband just at the right time and this is more than enough of what I asked for. He is so loving, respectful, faithful and humble. He is like a right blend of coffee that suits my taste in every season of the year… And I am proud to tell the world about him and how much love we have for each other. I know that we have to stretch our efforts and patience someday but I have this confident feeling of security in him when that moment comes. Having him is such a great blessing that I would always cherish and keep throughout the days of my life…

I can’t contain the mixed emotions in my heart… I am really glad that all these things has unfolded before my eyes and that there are so much more to look forward to, just how the next season of the year is about to start.

Very much inlove and much love,

Hershee Izell Bianchi

Just On Time

Schlagwörter

deutsch, german, language, patience, school, time, wait

Good Day Lovelies!!

I know it is still quite early today to write but I am doing this because I might forget it if I don’t. I am supposed to attend the German classes today but I’d decided not to because I have other things to do and one thing, I woke up late and not also in the mood to commute (hahaha very much queen!!!). I also decided to write this because sometimes, I feel like I need an inspiration and it makes me joyous and full of hope again. Yeah, really… sometimes I am the one who needs to read it!!! 🙂

credits to facebook

Yesterday, this thing also happened, but I was so motivated to attend the class and so I still continued dressing up and hey, I finished all my stuff in less than 30 minutes and I wasn’t late at all.

I arrived Caloocan City yesterday at 6.23 in the morning and it was not so early anymore. I was thinking that I might or might not arrive to school on time. Then I went to the ticket vending machine to load up my card and I heard the train coming while my card is still being reloaded. I thought of, „Oh I am going to be left and my card until now is not yet done reloading“ and so at the back of my mind, I had let it go and did not rant about waiting for the next train because hey I can’t stop the train if it should go!!

To my surprise, the train stayed a little bit more and I was able to ride in. I felt thankful that I got the ride actually earlier than the previous day and as the train runs, it had many problems and we had needed to wait a short time until it was okay. I already took a photo of the place because I wanted to inform my classmate that I might be late, yet the desire to come to school was really there. I wanted to go to school.

(c) ladiesthingsbyhersheeizell.com LRT station

I thought of being so late that I already prepared myself for it, however, I was not late! I was really surprised and realized something as I walk outside the train station: God’s timing is the best. He is never late nor too early. I was praying that I get to school on time because I really want to interact with my classmates and practice my skills. That desire in me was present all the time. I was not sure what time I would arrive due to the things that happened, but because in my heart I trust Him, and so He made way for me.

God listens to the prayers of people with pure intention and those who trust in Him and He blesses them. As humans, we are weak, not able to tell the nearest future and might have so many errors in everyday to the point that we sometimes feel like a failure but if He is the one to make a way, that is sure to be successful. Just be patient and keep doing your best even if no one is noticing or appreciating it, even if you can’t see the results for now… Pray and do your best.

Oh… it is already past 6 in the morning and I am also done with my breakfast… Coffee and study time is next 🙂